“I Am Not Ok With This” is a coming of age series that gives the audience real insight into the everyday life of a teenage girl with telekinetic powers and her friends. The protagonist, Syd, is a 17 year old teenager who is usually misunderstood by her friends, ignored by her stressed out mother and has telekinetic powers that she can’t control. This will be my last review and will cover Episode 6 “ Like Father,Like Daughter” and Episode 7 “Deepest, Darkest Secret”.
In episode 6, we see the continuing arc of Syd’s emotional swings but she is able to somewhat control her emotions and there are only a few times that she is unable to control outbursts. Relationships continue to evolve during this episode; Syd and Stan’s Love-Hate relationship continues with Syd bailing on going to the homecoming dance with him and telling him to find someone else to go with. Stan is resigned to the fact that Syd doesn’t return his feelings and considers him “just a friend”. Dina breaks up with Brad and he is the target of rumors that he cheated on Dina with Jenny, the Goth girl and he is humiliated. Brad is consumed with rage toward Syd for what he perceives it is her fault for his break up with Dina and he threatens her; but his anger really stems from being found out that he’s not the great guy everyone thinks he is. His interaction with Syd in this scene is aggressive and it foreshadows what is going to take place. Dina confronts Syd about why she didn;t tell her the truth about the reason why the security tape needed to be stolen and presses Syd to confide in her – Syd is not about to reveal her dark secret. Stan and Syd continue to pore over the security tape to see who else was present during the destruction of the library but are unable to see anyone on the tape except Syd. This causes Syd to believe she is “crazy” and hallucinating; she tells her counselor her fears that someone is following her and her counselor convinces Syd that she is “still in mourning and processing” her father’s death.
Syd, wanting to know exactly what happened to her dad, breaks into a locked army chest in the basement containing her dad’s things by using her telekinetic powers to remove the lock. She is interrupted by her mother who tells Syd the story of her father, his mood swings, his time in the army and the time there was an explosion and everyone died except him. Syd comes to the realization that she is her father’s daughter and for once understands and accepts herself for who she is and the power she has; but the possibilities of what she can do terrify her because she knows she can’t control herself all the time. So far her outbursts have not hurt anyone, but she is frightened they may in the future. Syd goes to write in her diary and discovers it is missing, causing panic to set in, and foreshadowing the last episode. Again, at the end of this scene, the shadowy, dark figure is seen hovering by Syd and following her as the episode closes. It is not clear if this shadowy figure is protecting or stalking Syd.
In the final episode, Syd’s deepest and darkest secrets are revealed in one way or another. Syd has come to grips with her telekinetic powers and she has made the decision to force herself to not care about what’s upsetting her in an attempt to control her rage. She reasons that “my dad was just like me and it destroyed him, I have a choice to make, either I lock myself away from the world and just disappear, let this stuff destroy me too, or I just don’t give a fuck”. The audience finds out Syd and her mother really do have a loving relationship, Syd and Stan genuinely have a deep friendship and have each other’s back and Dina and Syd attend the Homecoming Dance as friends with the possibility of it developing into more. The remaining conflict is between Brad and Syd, and ironically, it is a showdown between Brad humiliation and Syd’s humiliation. In a scene reminiscent from the prom scene in Stephen’s King’s Carrie, the final scene takes place at the Homecoming Dance where all of the characters are enjoying the dance, blissfully unaware of what’s to come.
Brad arrives drunk, commandeers the microphone and proceeds to reveal intimate details from Syd’s diary; her feelings for Dina, her “daddy issues” and her dysfunctional relationship with everyone in her life. Syd becomes increasingly angry as Brad humiliates her. As Brad is about to reveal that Syd believes she has superpowers and exposes her darkest secret, Syd’s anger escalates and Brad’s head explodes covering Syd, Dina and others in blood. The scene goes into slow motion, as everyone scrambles for the exits, which is a few effective technique for letting the dramatic weight of what just happened sink in. Syd flees among the shock and confusion and the scene cuts away back to the opening of the first episode closing the first season story arc. Syd runs out of town into the woods leaving the mayhem and is greeted by the mysterious stranger with the words “lets begin”. This first season ends on a cliffhanger that leaves the audience wondering who the mysterious person is – her dad coming back to train and guide her on the use of her telekinetic powers? Thank you for staying along for the ride and make sure to keep reading Hawk Hill reviews!